Sending “kids” off to college represents a developmental milestone that is challenging for parents and students alike. Both face challenges and new adventures, albeit in different ways. To that end, I am reading a terrific guidebook called “The Launching Years,” by Laura Kastner and Jennifer Wyatt. For anyone sending a child to college now or in the next few years, this a terrific book that provides the guidelines for healthy launching.
I really liked and related to the authors’ use of the term “mixed parenting,” that describes how parents in this stage must constantly shift from the traditional oversight of caring for younger children to that of a relationship based more on camaraderie. In this over-connected society, where our kids are generally available by technology 24/7, separation is especially complicated for both kids and their parents. Many parents find it difficult to stop texting their college freshmen constantly. This goes both ways.
Yet, constant communication is not helpful for the student’s attempt to become independent. A first step in this process is beginning to make one’s own decisions. Parents, try to resist that urge to check-in with your freshman several times a day, especially at the beginning of the year. If you have extra time on your hands, pick up a copy of “The Launching Years”. The advice is timeless.
