This is the time when your college-bound high school senior is finally receiving those long-awaited college acceptances, probably along with some disappointing rejections as well. May 1, the date at which students must notify the school that they want to attend, is coming up fast. Do you as a parent have mixed emotions? If so, you are far from alone. Although you have been planning for this exciting time since the moment of your child’s birth, your student’s enormous transition to independence begins in earnest as he/she begins college. Many parents realize that these next few months are the last ones in which your student will live at home full-time. It is small wonder that the tears we try to hide as our seniors dress for prom and walk down the aisle to receive their diploma are not full blown sobs. For some, they will be. These life transitions are huge. For most people, the mix of nostalgia, pride, and loss is confusing and a little overwhelming. Talking to others with students the same age can be very helpful. Communication with your partner is critical. It is so important to be able to share these feelings with someone else that understands them.
While this transition is enormous for parents, it is equally–if not more so–for your student. After all, they are the ones leaving the comfort and safety of the nest. Leaving home is always tough, and in these difficult economic and challenging times, most students are uncertain about what lies ahead. The intense connection between today’s parents and their children, reinforced by near constant communication via cell phone, makes the separation process more challenging than in previous generations. It is easier to separate when a relationship is conflictual. It is because of this that many parents with previously easy relationships with their teens find a sudden increase in conflict between them and their college bound student. Boundary testing becomes huge as students anticipate how much freedom they will have in college. As parents, our confusing emotions are likely to fuel the conflict and make separation on our side easier too. As a parent about to launch your child, try to anticipate the constantly changing emotions on both your parts, treasure these waning high school days in any way you can, relish in your student’s accomplishments, and remember to keep Kleenex nearby.
