If you are like millions of parents across the country, you are either driving to pick up your college students at school, or having them return home on their own. Either way, this “happy” transition may not be the wonderful reunion you have been anticipating for weeks. First, some of our kids are sad to leave their wonderful college friends for the summer. Second, they may not be so happy to be back at home where they’re not quite sure where they fit within the family. Are they adults? Are they the same old brother/sister they were before college? What about curfew? Since our college students are used to coming and going at all hours with no parents to report to, how will they adjust to parents wanting to know where they are at 2 a.m.?
Sometimes it can be difficult knowing how to relate to our changing young adults. Is it ok to have a curfew? Absolutely, as long as they are under your roof, you have the right to set a reasonable time for them to be home or have them tell you where they will be. Of course, there is also the overflowing laundry basket…. While most families are flexible enough to absorb constant changes, the return of college students for the summer can be stressful for all family members. In fact, it usually is. A younger child may be both excited and resentful about his/her older sibling’s return home. This is all part of the family maturity process. Our college students are getting ready to transition to adulthood and live on their own in the near future.
Many returning college students complain about feeling bored after only a few days at home. It is hard as parents not to have our feelings hurt, when we have waited so long for them to come home after a year away. Remember how hard it was when you returned for the summers during college? One thing I try to do to make the most of summers with kids in college is to plan a family vacation when everyone is available, so that we can all spend some time together. It doesn’t matter how long or short the vacation is–it is a matter of breaking up the routine and creating new family memories. I find that my bored college student is a lot more fun when I can get him away from home doing something fun with the family.
