I experienced a great personal reminder about how important it is not to allow one’s own college experience to influence your children in their college search. A few weeks ago I travelled to Ann Arbor to the University of Michigan, my much beloved alma mater, to attend a film festival. Since we were there, I talked my son into joining a college campus tour and learning about the school from a more objective source. This was in the middle of the NCAA tournament, when Michigan was playing magically and the campus was brimming with school spirit and pride. Wow, I thought, what an awesome place to go to school. What could be better? A great education, a great town, great sports teams, school spirit–the list goes on. As I looked over at my son, he looked bored. Could this even be possible, I wondered? Okay, so it was a gray day, but still this is Michigan we are talking about. On the way home the next day, my son said, “Mom, I know you loved your college but Michigan feels a little too big to me. It just isn’t quite what I am looking for.” Oh well, at least I did one thing right; I did not buy him a Michigan t-shirt.
It is so natural for the enthusiasms of our own college years to bubble up when we begin looking for schools for our kids. It is exciting. It allows us to re-imagine what it feels like to be 18 again. But it is so important not to focus on our own experiences. First, it might not be what they want. Second, they might apply and be rejected. I have heard of many legacy children getting rejected from their parents’ schools, and the trend looks like legacy status is becoming less important at many schools. Before beginning the college search with your child, sit down with them, find out what they want from their college experience, and listen for those things that “make their heart sing” (Dan Ginsburg, MD).
